Secrets
by kissthepainaway
Summary: McKinley High, a school filled with devious secrets all of which Rachel Berry finds herself having to hide. It's enough to make a girl go crazy especially when everyone is against her. After a melt down secrets are revealed and Rachel finds who really cares enough to stand by her at the hardest of times. A/N I do not own Glee or anyone in it!
1. Not Normal

Rachel walked down the hallway as normal with books in her hands. However something was entirely different about her this day. Instead of her normal knee high socks, short skirt and animal sweater she wore an oversized sweatshirt and her yoga pants an outfit that Rachel usually worked out in. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail and she barely had a touch of makeup on her face. Walking into her first period classroom Rachel sat in her desk as others piled into the room talking and laughing.

"Hey looks like Ms. Diva is having a hard time with her break up with Finn." Quinn told Santana as they walked to their desks in the back. Santana studdied Rachel, something she was doing a lot of lately. Rachel didn't look sad or even broken hearted like she has before, instead she just looked numb and sick.

"Not like Frankenteen isn't that big of a deal to cry over anyway." Santana commented and Quinn grumbled slightly.

"Sorry queenie but he's not a box of chocolates. And he defenity isn't worth all this back and forth shit."

"Are you standing up for Rachel?" Quinn asked and Santana scoffed.

"Yeah right I'm just saying if you are ganna tourcher the thing do it for a real reason and not some jock with half a brain." Santana said as the teacher walked into the room to start class. Through the entire class Santana's eyes kept wondering over to Rachel who instead of dillegently taking notes like normal she was wondering off a lot and doodling on her notebook. Shaking her head Santana pretended to not notice all the weird changes happening and went back to her texting during class.

Rachel walked down the hallway toward the choir room for glee club when she felt someone running past her. Turning and looking Rachel saw it was Puck or Noah as she knew him.

"Hey Babe headed to glee?" He asked and Rachel nodded smiling lightly.

"Yeah I am. I'm just going to stop off at the bathroom real quickly tell Mr. Schue for me if the bell rings. I know how much you hate to aknowlege our friendship in public but I figure it's just the gleeks right. You'll beat them into silence anyway." Rachel said matter of factly with a smile still on her face. Puck didn't really know how to respond so he just nodded before walking down to the choir room. Never had Rachel ever been so blunt with him, he knew that they way he treated her wasn't always the best but she hadn't said anything before. Sitting in his chair Puck tried to shake it off and go back to his badass looks.

"Hey where's Rachel?" Kurt asked and Puck looked up.

"She had to stop off at the bathroom before coming here." Puck said and turned away quickly.

In the bathroom Rachel looked at herself in the mirror and rubbed her bloodshot eyes. Grabbing the pill bottle in her jacket she quickly took two pills and splashed some water on her face. Looking up her reflection had become fuzzy again and Rachel smiled softly again before leaving the bathroom and walking into glee right as Mr. Schue was entering the classroom.

"Well now that we are all here let's get to work on our new stuff we have a big galla in two weeks and we need a soloist for the big peice I want Rachel to do it since it's perfect for your voice range." Mr. Schuester told them and Mercedes stood up.

"That isn't fair why does she get every single solo she's not that great at it anyway." Mercedes said and Mr. Schuester pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyence.

"Mercedes I've made my decision and I fee-"

"Give her the solo Mr. Schue." Rachel interupted and everyones eye's turned to her in shock.

"Rachel?" Tina asked and Rachel shrugged.

"She wants it give it to her she probably will do much better then I will anyway. Everyone enjoys Mercedes presence anyway. Isn't that right? She's not as big as a diva as I am no one hates her so it makes sense." Rachel said in a numb voice.

"Rachel, I think you would be best for this part." Mr. Schuester said slowly and Rachel shook her head.

"No you don't but that's ok I'm ok." She said and everyone sat in silence staring at Rachel. She stood up and sighed.

"I'm not feeling so well can I go home?" Rachel asked and Mr. Schue nodded slowly.

"Yes but I want to talk to you tomorrow Rachel." He said and Rachel nodded before walking out of the choir room. Walking over to her bike Rachel tried biking home but her vision got so bad she had to get off her bike and walk the rest of the way home. Opening her door she knew her dads wouldn't be home they were off on a buisness trip again. Heading toward her room Rachel removed her large sweatshirt and collapsed on the bed. Suddenly she shot up and ran to the bathroom vomiting her guts up. After taking these pills for a weeks and a half you'd think she would have gotten use to the constant vomiting but she still hadn't. It took a lot out of her. It took a lot to pull herself off the floor wash out her mouth and walk back to her bathroom to pass out into a deep sleep.


	2. Shock

Rachel woke up to drool on her pillow and her head pounding at an awful rate. Standing up slowly Rachel realized she had woken up late and had no time to do her usual morning rutine work out. Her stomach started to churn and Rachel dashed to the bathroom in order to throw up once again. Sitting down on the bathroom floor Rachel reached around to find some clothes to just throw on. She found her old jeans with rips and a McKinley High shirt that she mocked constantly. Getting dressed quickly Rachel took two more of her pills before dashing out of the house to her bike. Looking toward her new blue prius she almost felt sad that she hadn't been able to drive it but what she was doing now was worth the cost.

Biking down the road to the school Rachel jumped off her bike and walked into the school as she tied up her long brown hair into a ponytail. Mr. Schue quickly walked over to greet Rachel.

"Rachel I'd like to talk to you if you don't mind." He said and Rachel nodded.

"Sure thing Mr. Schue." She said and walked into his classroom with him.

"Rachel I know what you saw happening was devistating and I understand that you may have some questions for me but you've been very mature about everything and I'm thank ful that you agreed to keep my, situation a secret." Mr. Schue said and Rachel nodded.

"I know that's why you want to give me the solo Mr. Schue and I don't blame you I've pulled blackmail before and you're scared I'll do it again since I know what you've been up to but I don't have that intention. I truely do not want this solo."

"Can I ask why you don't want it?" Mr. Schue asked and Rachel smiled lightly.

"I have a bigger purpose tonight and it requires all my attention." She said and Mr. Schue nodded.

"Alright well if you truely don't want it I'll give it to Mercedes." He said and Rachel nodded standing up. Leaving the classroom Rachel walked down the hallway to her first period when Dave Karofsky 'accidently' bumped her into a few of the lockers. Because of her latest illness, the small bump threw her against the metal harder then intended causing Rachel to crumple to the floor in pain.

"Drama queen I didn't even hit you that hard." Dave said as Artie who was near by wheeled over offering to help Rachel.

"She hit the lockers hard Karofsky. I could hear it."

"I didn't hit her that hard." He said defiently. Rachel stood up slowly and painfully.

"Rachel are you alright do you want to go to the nurses office?" Artie asked and Rachel shook her head quickly.

"I'm fine Artie really thank you for your help." She said and walked away looking at Dave in his eyes. Walking into her classroom Rachel sat down painfully and winced at the bruises she knew were forming. Santana walked into the classroom and looked at Rachel's pained face. Ignoring it when Quinn walked inside she tried to focus on class and her phone but she was worried about Rachel. She figured she'd hang out with Rachel during the little galla thing or whatever since Quinn and Finn were preforming and Puck was ditching.

Rachel stood in the bathroom looking at the deep bruise on her side. Sighing Rachel took two more pills and really started to feel her body relax as much as possible without her just falling over. Walking out of the bathroom toward the auditorium where the last practice would be held Rachel slumped down into one of the chairs. Everyone piled into the auditorium and Mercedes quickly set up to sing the solo. After she sang it Mr. Schue nodded.

"That was great. This is going to go very well tonight I want everyone to be there cheering on the preformers." Mr. Schue said and everyone nodded.

"Also I have to ask you all dress up as nicely as possible we want this to be a very classy night." He told them and Rachel smiled lightly. It would be her one chance to wear that new dress she had bought. Standing up after the practice was over Rachel walked her bike all the way home and walked into her house excitedly. Walking upstairs Rachel pulled out the black dress she saved or this occasion and put it on. Fixing her hair up Rachel ignored the sleepy sluggish feeling she had in her body. Leaving her house Rachel went back to the school dressed up and excited to finally fufill what she had been waiting for. Entering the school with all the others Rachel stood in the hallway near the coat check.

Santana stood back toward the lockers which were lined with art projects examining one peice of work when she noticed Rachel by the coat check. When Rachel removed her coat Santana noticed in her stunning black dress Rachel had gotten much much skinnier, to an almost unhealthy point. Walking over to her Santana nodded to Rachel.

"Oh hello Santana it's lovely to see you hear are you excited?" She asked and Santana nodded.

"I'm very excited to stand around and look at pencils glued to a canvas and have people tell me it's art. I'm also very excited to sit in the auditorium and watch Mercedes get her way because she's a cry baby and to watch it all end with Quinn and Finn eye fucking each other onstage." Santana said and then turned to Rachel.

"Come now Santana this night is special for everyone." She said and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Just come on Berry I want to get this art walk over with." She said and walked down the hallway with Rachel.

"Like look at this Berry that is litterly a line on a peice of paper." Santana said and Rachel giggled a little.

"It's a suggestion that our congress lacks the respersentation for our people. How the gap between rich and poor is widening. Also how race plays a vital role on violence in the school systems." Rachel told her and Santana turned to her.

"Really?"

"I don't know it looks like a line on a paper to me." Rachel said smiling and Santana smirked. Berry could be pretty funny when she tried to be.

"Come on let's go get some seats. I want good ones so I can pelt Schue with popcorn."

"Santana they don't sell popcorn at the galla." Rachel said and Santana held up her purse with a bag of popcorn.

"If you're lucky I'll share it with you." Santana said and Rachel giggled. Sitting down in the auditorium they watched as people completed their songs. Half way through the preformences Rachel excused herself to the bathroom. Walking inside one of the stalls Rachel pulled a shinny silver razer blade from her purse.

"No more." She said as she quickly dragged the razer against her skin. Crimsion blood rushed out of her wrists and mixed with the drugs already hazing her mind it didn't take much for Rachel to loose conciousness and fall to the floor.

Santana sat in her seat waiting for Rachel's return but it had been a good deal of time since Rachel had left for the bathroom. Sighing Santana admited to herself that she actually missed having Rachel there. Everytime Santana would pelt Schue with a popcorn peice when he'd turn around Rachel's convincing facial expressions made it easier for Schue to not know it was them. Standing up Santana picked up the bottem of her white dress and walked out of the auditorium toward the bathroom. The hallways were empty at this time and almost creepily silent.

"Hey Berry you in there?" Santana asked as she knocked on the bathroom door. Sighing she pushed the door open only to have a large shock slam through her body.

"R-rachel?" Santana gasped and rushed over to Rachel. Picking up her body she held her close and screamed out for help hopping someone anyone would hear her.

"HELP PLEASE! HELP!" She screamed in between her shocked and horrified sobs. Suddenly Beastie and Schue were in the bathroom.

"Oh god." Schue said and coach Beastie grabbed some of the paper towels to stop the bleeding coming from Rachel's wrists.

"We have to get her to the hospital immediently." Schue said and Santana nodded lifting Rachel up quickly. They walked out of the school to the car and loaded Rachel inside. Driving to the hospital they ran inside Rachel still in Santana's arms. Emergency workers rushed out and it hurt Santana to release Rachel to them but she let her go. Sobbing into her blood soaked hands Santana collapsed on the floor.


	3. Been There

Santana sat in the waiting room shaking from her melt down. Schue was talking to the doctors and coach Beastie was calling Rachel's dads. After he was done discusing Rachel Schue walked back to Santana and sat down.

"She's being taken into surgery she lost a lot of blood but they say we got her here just in time." Schue said and sighed rubbing his head.

"How did this happen?" Schue asked and Santana shook her head new tears coming to her eyes.

"I don't know she seemed so happy tonight we were having fun." Santana said crying softly. Schue looked at Santana's blood soaked dress and sighed.

"Call someone to bring you clothes Santana." He said before standing up to get some coffee. Santana nodded slowly before dialing a phone number.

"Brittney can you bring me a change of clothes?" Santana asked after Brittney asnwered.

"Sure San. Where are ya?"

"I'm uh I'm at the hospital." Santana said and Brittney gasped.

"What? Why? What's wrong are you alright?" Brittney asked and Santana nodded.

"I'm fine I'm here for Rachel, sh-she tried to kill her self tonight." Santana told her and Brittney fell silent for a moment.

"I-I'll bring you some clothes ok." She said slowly and hung up. Santana sat there waiting for some sign that Rachel would be ok. After a while Brittney came into the hospital with clothes in hand.

"Santana is she alright?"

"I don't know Brittney. She lost a lot of blood and she needed surgry." Santana explained and Brittney nodded sitting next to Santana.

"Does anyone else know?" Brittney asked and Santana shrugged.

"The bathroom was covered in blood so I'm sure someone figured it out." Santana said and Brittney turned to her.

"You found her?" Brittney asked and Santana nodded.

"We were hanging out that night and she went to the bathroom but she was in there so long that I just went to check on her and she was there bleeding all over the place." Santana explained starting to sob again. Brittney hugged her tightly and clamed her down enough so Santana could go change. When she was done the doctor had walked out of the back and called Rachel's name. Everyone walked up to him waiting for him to tell them something about Rachel.

"Which one of you is Santana?" the doctor asked.

"I am." Santana said stepping forward.

"She won't stop asking for you. I told her that she can't have visiters but she said that she wanted to see you. So I suppose we have to allow it to calm her down. Is that alright?" He asked and Santana nodded.

"Yes I'll go back there. Is she alright?"

"She's fine now she needs rest and she is on suicide watch for the next 48 hours." He said and Santana nodded.

"Now follow me I'll show you to her room." He said and walked back to the rooms. Passing by patients and rooms and nurses. Trying to keep her focus and her emotions in check Santana walked into Rachel's room.

"Santana you are here." Rachel said and Santana nodded walking over to sit next to her.

"How are you doing?" Santana asked and Rachel shrugged.

"I've been better."

"Rachel I have to ask why." Santana asked after a moment of silence. Sighing Rachel reached her hand out and Santana slowly took Rachel's hand in her own.

" I read on this website that killing yourself could be very easy. If you tried your hardest you could just go to sleep one day and you'd never wake up. Now I've always hated myself of course everyone else did so why didn't I. I'm a diva I'm crushing I'm clingy I'm over baring. Santana I know things that you would never want to know about people that hate me. What's funny is I learned them while trying to kill myself. Now they want me to be their best friends to keep their secrets." Rachel said and Santana shook her head.

"No body wants you to die Rachel I know I don't I made fun of you before."

"Quinn does she wants me dead but that's because I know."

"What do you know?" Santana asked and Rachel sighed.

"Santana when I get back to school I am going to reveal every single secret I know about everyone in our Glee class. Even some people outside of Glee. It will ruin peoples lives."

"Rachel this isn't Baby gate season you need to unders-"

"And this isn't baby gate Santana these things will tear people apart. I want to know that you will stand by me through this." Rachel said and Santana looked deep into her brown eyes.

"Why me?" Santana asked and Rachel smiled.

"Don't you get it. Santana we've been there for each other. During Baby gate when everyone hated me you supported me. When Finn cheated on me you told me. When Brittney ran off with Artie you came to me and I was there for you." She told her and Santana nodded slowly.

"Fine I will be there for you but don't you ever scare me like that again. When I walked into that damn bathroom I thought that you were dead." Santana said slowly and felt tears coming to her eyes.

"I don't give a shit if the whole world wants to burn you on a stake Berry. All that matters is that you are here and you are alive." Santana said and Rachel started to cry. Wrapping her arms around Rachel they cried together.

"I'd miss your loud mouth if you were gone." Santana said and Rachel smiled.

"I'd miss your awful curse words." Rachel said giggling. They sat there hugging each other until the doctors said visiting hours were over.

"I'll be back tomorrow ok." Santana said and Rachel nodded.

"I'll be here."

"Funny Berry funny."

"I try." Rachel said with a smile as Santana walked out of the room.


	4. What You're Gaining

Santana walked into the hospital and over to Rachel's room. Rachel was sitting up writing things down on a note pad.

"Hey what are you doing?" Santana asked and Rachel looked up.

"I'm writing down everything I know. Santana I want to tell you first but I can't tell you here." Rachel said and Santana looked at Rachel's serious face, and felt a tiny bit intimitaded by her. Taking the note pad from her hands Santana set it down on the table.

"Alright well then it can wait. How do you feel?" Santana said and Rachel shrugged.

"Well this isn't some hotel in New York but it's ok. They don't have very many vegan things here though." Rachel said and Santana smiled.

"Well then you are ganna get on your knees and thank me when I show you this." Santana said grabbing the little cup from her purse.

"I snuck in some Vegan pudding, chocolate. That's your favorite flavor right? Oh and a grape slushie too."

"Is there nothing that can't fit in your purse?" Rachel asked as she watched Santana pull out the big cup that had luckily stayed steady.

"That doesn't sound like a thank you to me Berry." Santana said putting the straw in the slushie. Suddenly Santana felt warm lips on her cheek. Turning to look at Rachel she was smiling opening the pudding.

"Want some?" Rachel asked after noticing Santana was staring at her. Smiling lightly Santana shook her head.

"Naw Berry you eat up." Santana said and took a sip of the grape slushie before passing it to Rachel.

"So I know you're probably busy and want to get back home soon-"

"Already trying to get rid of me Berry? No chance what's on the tv?" Santana asked and Rachel smiled brightly. Turning on television they managed to find some musical on tv that Santana didn't really care about but Rachel liked it so she watched it anyway.

"God this chair is awful." Santana said trying to get comfortable.

"Here Santana." Rachel said scooting over on the bed.

"Rach you don't have to do that-"

"Santana hurry up the best part is coming up." Rachel said and Santana sighed getting up. Climbing into the bed next to Rachel she tried to keep her space to herself but Rachel had a different idea. Grabbing Santana's hand Rachel made her put her arm around her. Laying her head on Santana's shoulder Rachel continued to watch TV. Santana looked down at Rachel and smiled once again before brushing some of Rachel's hair out of her face.

Santana had to move out from under Rachel careful to not wake her. Successfully being able to untangle herself Santana packed up her things and leaned over to kiss Rachel's head goodbye before leaving the room. Walking out of the room the doctor had just passed Santana.

"Hey Doc how long until the whole suicide watch thing is done?" Santana asked almost choking on the words suicide watch.

"Well she's been doing very well so by tomorrow she should be done but we need to check her into the care of someone trust worthy. Her fathers have yet to come back from their buisness trip." He said and Santana nodded.

"Alright well I'll see you tomorrow then." She said and walked out of the hospital to her car. Driving home Santana just stepped in her front door when she was assulted by Quinn's glare.

"Um Santana did you happen to forget that we were meeting to head over to the mall?" Quinn asked and Santana shrugged.

"I thought I canceled."

"Where were you?" Quinn asked and Santana sighed.

"I went to check up on Rachel and we got caught up watching a movie."

"Rachel why did you go to see her?"

"Quinn she needs friends she tried to kill herself."

"Yeah well you were my friend first and you promised to go to the mall with me." Quinn said and Santana rolled her eyes.

"Quinn grow up. Rachel needs me now more then you do Quinn call Brittney if you want to be at the mall so bad. I have to get shit ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Rachel's dads aren't back from their buisness trip and Rachel needs to be signed out into someones care. I'm ganna get my dad to sign her out since he's a doctor and we have the room for her here."

"Fine ruin your life by helping the looser. Let man hands touch all of your things and bug you until you want to die I don't care anymore." Quinn ranted and Santana stood up getting in Quinn's face.

"Look Quinnie pie, you may be on the top of the cheer pyriamid but I am not scared to take you down a peg or three. Don't bother Rachel, Don't talk to Rachel, don't touch Rachel and if I even think I see you glancing in her direction I'll be sure to take you down town. Now get the fuck out of my house." Santana said and Quinn growled walking to the door.

"Just know what you are giving up for what you are gaining."


	5. Finn

A/N the next few chapters will be different, when Rachel is dicribing a secret to Santana it will be shown through a flashback so don't think I've went and changed to much up.

Santana stood by the hospital doors waiting while her father signed Rachel out into his care. She was actually suprised that her dad willingly agreed to let Rachel stay with them but she was happy that he had. Rachel was being wheeled out of the hosptial in a wheel chair and Santana rushed over to her side helping her out of the chair.

"Are you feeling alright? Do you want to keep the wheel chair? All your stuff has been moved into my house already everything you are going to need and if you need anything else I can run out and get it for you-"

"Santana I'm fine thank you." Rachel said silencing her worried rammbling.

"I just want to go home with you and talk." Rachel said and Santana nodded.

"Alright then let's go home." She said and helped Rachel over to the car. Driving Rachel to her house Santana walked Rachel into the house.

"You are ganna have to stay in my room but on my last birthday I got a california king bed so it should be enough room for you." Santana said and walked Rachel up to the room. Laying her down on the bed Santana stood there not sure what to do.

"Santana sit down." Rachel said and Santana did as she was told sitting next to Rachel.

"Are you just going to start?" Santana asked and Rachel shrugged.

"Do you want me to? I won't tell you anything you don't want to know." Rachel said and Santana sighed.

"I'm ready you shouldn't bare the world on your own." Santana said and nodded for Rachel to start her tale.

"Let's start with Finn he was the first I found out." Rachel said and Santana nodded.

#FLASHBACK#

Rachel stood in the kitchen of her house cleaning up after the dinner she shared with Finn. Finn walked into the kitchen and smiled his crooked smile.

"Hey Rach I'm ganna get going ok I have to still hit the gym before I go home." He said and Rachel nodded.

"Have fun Finn." She said slowly and watched as Finn left the house. Turning on her phone quickly Rachel started reading the article on suicide when she noticed that it told her to get the razor blades from a hardwear store that wouldn't remember her. Rachel walked outside to her car and drove down to the hardwear store across from the gay bar. She didn't know anyone there and she wouldn't be recognized.

After standing in line for a while Rachel looked out the window only to see a tall familiar figure exiting the gay bar. Finn had his arm around Blaine and they were laughing. Rachel watched it all as she stepped up to pay for the razor blades. Walking outside of the store Rachel watched Finn start to kiss Blaine passionetly. Shaking her head she got in her car and drove back to her house sitting up in her room and crying.

#ENDFLASHBACK#

"Finn's gay?" Santana asked and Rachel nodded.

"Yes and has been cheating with Blaine for at least a month. I learned that night and it devistated me. That's when I started to pull away from him and let Quinn take him."

"That's why you didn't seem upset by it because you knew he was gay anyway." Santana said and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Rach."

"It's ok. I realized that he can't help who he is. I guess that's when I really knew I liked girls."

"What?" Santana asked and Rachel nodded.

"I'm gay Santana. I guess that's really why I didn't want to have sex with Finn because I knew I wouldn't like it but I tried to push it back as much as I could but I can't deny my feelings anymore than Finn can."

"Glee really does just breed the gayest huh?" Santana asked and laid back.

"I wish I would have come out maybe then I would have been happier." Rachel said and Santana shrugged.

"It's not so easy coming out either. You loose a lot of friends and street cred that's why I was so mean to you after I came out. And I'm sorry for that because I know it wasn't your fault but I didn't know anyother way to be back on top again. Then that whole baby gate thing happened and I really gained popularity. I wanted to leave you alone but when Brittney left me I guess I just lost it again. You were the only constant in my life Berry I knew that you would always be there so I just ripped on you again and again because I knew you'd never stand up for yourself. I'm so sorry." Santana said and Rachel leaned over slowly pressing her lips against Santana's. Sitting there shocked Santana didn't respond right away but just as she did Rachel pulled away.

"I forgive you Santana I always have." Rachel said looking into Santana's eyes. Feeling the raw emotion Rachel was putting out to her Santana broke down in tears from the guilt, the happiness, the sadness, the shock, and the love she felt in the moment. Taking Santana in a loving embrace Rachel held her tightly.


	6. Mr Schuester

A/N this chapter will feature OC but she's not very big through the story but it does make an impact I hope you enjoy it!

Santana woke up to Rachel out of bed and in the shower. Sitting up Santana rubbed her face from sleep and walked over to her closet to pick out her clothes. Sue finally allowed the girls to wear what they wanted instead of the stupid uniform. Santana loved it's power but she hated it's fabric. She changed into jeans and a loose flowy purple top. Waiting in the bedroom for Rachel to get out of the shower Santana got a text from Quinn.

"Want me to pick you up for school?"

"Naw Quinn I'm taking Rachel to school today so I'll take my car." Santana texted back only to get a sad face in response.

"Who was that?" Rachel asked as she got out of the bathroom changed.

"Oh just Quinn." Santana said and stood up.

"You sure you want to go back to school today?" Santana asked taking Rachel's shoulders in her arms lovingly.

"I'm sure Santana." Rachel said and Santana nodded slowly.

"Alright then let's go we don't want to be late." Santana told her as they walked down the stairs to the kitchen. Making a quick breakfast they ate and left for school in Santana's car. Walking Rachel to her first class Santana almost didn't want to leave to go to her own class. Rachel could sense it and kissed Santana's hand.

"Thank you Santana I'll be ok."

"Alright well I'll back right after class to walk you to your next one ok?" Santana asked and Rachel nodded. Slowly Santana exited the room to go to her own class.

Rachel walked into the ladies restroom while Santana was talking outside to some of her cheer friends. While washing her hands Quinn walked out of one of the stalls.

"You should have never came back you should have died." Quinn said and Rachel turned to her.

"But I didn't Quinn that means something." Rachel said and Quinn shook her head.

"You know things you shouldn't know Rachel. You could tear everyone apart!"

"Quinn these secrets need to come to the surface, if they don't then one day they will blow up out of no where killing everything in its path. Quinn you can't live your life hiding this from everyone you love." Rachel said and Quinn had to wipe the angry tears coming from her eyes.

"Don't you dare tell them Rachel." Quinn threatened and Rachel shook her head walking out of the bathroom to Santana. They made their way to the choir room and sat down in two seats toward the back when Mr. Schuester walked inside.

"Rachel can I speak to you?" He asked and Rachel nodded walking down toward him.

"Yes Mr. Schue?" Rachel asked.

"I thought about what you said to me and you are right if I don't come clean about this then it makes what is true love something dirty and dark. I can't tell the entire world yet but I can tell the people who don't have to allow it just try to understand me." He said and Rachel smiled.

"I'm glad because I know for a fact that you two are in love and I am happy for you." Rachel said and walked back to her seat next to Santana.

"What was that about?" Santana asked and Rachel smiled.

"My second secret, Mr. Schue has been cheating on Emma."

"Really no suprise there ms. virgin can't hold on to a man when you are her age." Santana commented and Rachel shook her head.

"That's not the big secret," Rachel said and Mr. Schuester took his place in front of the glee club.

"Everyone I have an announcement to make," Mr. Schue started. "I have been lying to everyone and I can't continue to lie to you guys anymore."

"I'm in love, but it's not with Ms. Pilsbury. In fact I've been cheeting on her for a few months now with a girl that some of you know. The newest member of Vocal Adrenaline, and a student at Carmel High." Mr. Schue said and everyone gasped.

"But that's illegal!" Tina said and Mr. schue shook his head.

"She's 17 and I'm not her teacher so it's legal but it isn't completely right. Especially since I've been lying and asking Rachel to hide it when she stumbled across my secret. And I'm sorry Rachel that was way to much to put on you." He said and Rachel nodded.

#FLASHBACK#

"Alright I got your pills I left them in your locker at school so no one would see me." Rachel's drug dealer told her over the phone. Looking over at the clock on her microwave Rachel was happy to see that it wasn't too late and she could get back to the school without having to ask someone to let her in. Hanging up her phone Rachel left the house and walked down to the school so no one would recognize her car. Opening the school doors Rachel walked inside and over to her locker which was still spray painted with a big L on it. Carmel High stopped by with Vocal Adrenaline to show them up once again with some of their best songs and some of their best shit slinging insults but Rachel didn't mind. Vocal Adrenaline had a new co lead on their team with Jessie and she was very nice. Her name was Jade Landcaster and she was very happy to appoligize for the things the team said to New Directions and offered to help clean up after the mess Vocal Adrenaline made.

Rachel opened her locker when she heard some weird noises coming from Mr. Schuester's classroom. Walking over to the classroom Rachel looked inside and gasped. Inside Mr. Schue was leaning over Jade Landcaster kissing her shirtless body. Mr. Schuester's pants were around his ankles and Jade had her head thrown back. Covering her mouth in shock Rachel turned around and started to head toward the door when she knocked over a trash can walking away. Hearing the noise Jade and Mr. Schue walked out of the classroom.

"R-Rachel what are you doing here?" Mr. Schue asked and Rachel sighed.

"I just came to get something I forgot and I-I didn't mean to intrude." Rachel said still on the floor from her fall. Jade walked over and helped Rachel up off the floor.

"Well it can't be helped now. You know that we are seeing each other behind closed doors." Jade told her brushing off the dirt on Rachel. To Rachel it felt like a mother with a small child and that caused tears to come to her eyes.

"Oh Rachel don't cry please it's not like it's a big deal honey." Jade said and Rachel couldn't help it. She could continued to cry and had to have Jade hug her till she calmed down.

"Rachel I think you should go home. Get some rest." Mr. Schue said and Rachel could see the fear they had from her telling someone.

"I will but I promise to keep your secret just so you know. I like you two." She said slowly wiping her face.

"Rachel go home rest." Jade told her and Rachel nodded walking out of the school back to her house.

#ENDFLASHBACK#

Everyone was trying to wrap their heads around this factor and Rachel nodded to Mr. Schue.

"I have offically broken up with Emma and I am continuing my relationship with Jade but if you all feel too uncomfortable with it I will end my relationship because you all matter to me more then I can say. I've never had kids but you all are like my kids." He said slowly and everyone was silent for a while.

"I think it's cool." Santana said and everyone turned to her.

"I mean look we've all been around since the begining. Mr. Schue has gone through enough heart break year after year and the way he talks about this girl well it seems like he really likes her." Santana said and Puck nodded.

"Yeah I guess that's right I mean hey if you are happy." He said and Finn smiled.

"Everyone diserves to be happy." He said and Rachel reached her hand over resting it on Santana's knee. Santana blushed and took Rachel's hand in hers. Everyone noticed but no one said a thing about it.


	7. Lose Control

A/N There will be a small amount of smut in this chapter so if you aren't into it dont read it. Hope you all like this story as much as I do. R&R!

Santana walked down the hallway and over to her locker when Dave Karofsky walked up to her.

"Can I help you?" She asked coldly.

"Santana how's about we take a quick lay?" He asked and Santana turned to him.

"Are you blind or stupid cause obviously I've kinda swarn off men."

"So what come on let's go." He said and Santana laughed.

"I guess you really don't know what the definition of gay is do ya." Santana said closing her locker door.

"All I know is that you are trying to get in Rachel Berry's pants must mean you aren't as gay as you thought because that manly ass bitch isn't worth your time." He said and Santana turned to him.

"All I know is that you like men so just come out already and leave those who are happy alone. Oh and say something about Rachel again and I'll pound your face in get it?" Santana asked angerly. Rachel had walked up to Santana just then fearing some sort of physical combat to take place if she didn't step in.

"Santana?" Rachel asked and Dave growled.

"Stay out of this freak." He said pushing Rachel back, making the worst mistake of his life. Santana saw red and in a matter of moment she was on top of Dave punching over and over and over again. Angry tears streaked down Santana's cheeks as she took swing after swing.

"DON'T TOUCH HER! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME DON'T TOUCH HER!" Santana screamed as a crowd of people surrounded them. Everyone watched in horror as they figured Santana would kill Karofsky.

"SANTANA STOP!" Rachel screamed over everyones worried cries. In mid swing Santana stopped her hand. It went dead silent through the crowd.

"Let's go." Rachel said walking over to Santana. "Please."

"You are lucky." Santana said standing up slowly. Walking out of the school with Rachel no one tried to stop her. They drove home in silence and when they got inside Rachel took Santana into the bedroom. Placing ice on Santana's hand Rachel tired to take down the swelling of her knuckles.

"I'm sorry Rach I just when he touched you I lost it I'm so sorry. I never meant to scare you I'm usually not like that you know that." Santana said and Rachel stopped her.

"You didn't scare me because you lost control you scared me because I thought you were going to get hurt, or getting in trouble in an awful way. You beat Karofsky to a pulp Santana they could arrest you for that. I care about you I don't want you to go anywhere but here with me." Rachel said and Santana sighed.

"I'm ganna be ok babe I promise." Santana said and smiled.

"Let's just lay down for a little while." Rachel said and sat back on the bed with Santana.

"How long do you think your parents will let me stay here?" Rachel asked and Santana shrugged.

"As long as you need to. When are your dad's coming home?" Santana asked and Rachel shook her head.

"They aren't coming back."

"What why wouldn't they?" Santana asked and Rachel sighed.

"They feel too guilty for it."

"For what?"

"For all of the things they've done to me." Rachel said and Santana looked at her.

"Rachel?" Santana asked and Rachel took her hand.

"When I was really little I was brought up to be a star, everyone knows that but the darkness behind it no one knows. I asked about my mother some times and when I would do that my father would strike me until I finally stopped asking about her all together. But then the beatings they got worse when I'd miss a note, when I'd do a wrong ballet move, when I'd eat to much and gain weight, when I would wake up too late, then for anything." Rachel said with tears going down her cheeks.

"That's why I didn't mind when people would make fun of me at school because no matter how many slushies I got at home my life was worse. Everything anyone would call me was nothing compared to my father's words. That's why I wanted to end my life Santana I wanted to get away from the pain I would never be able to get away from it in real life but in death I could." Rachel said sobbing lightly. Santana grabbed Rachel and held her close calming her down

"I will make sure that for the rest of your life no one will hurt you." Santana said holding Rachel's face in her hands. Rachel leaned forward and pressed her lips against Santana's. Kissing her back Santana pulled her closer. Laying Rachel back on the bed Santana's tongue dived deep in Rachel's mouth. Carresing Santana's body Rachel couldn't help the moan escape her mouth when Santana dragged her lips down Rachel's soft neck and across her colar bone. Continuing her path down the line of Rachel's sweater Santana slipped her hands up Rachel's shirt.

"Santana take it off." Rachel pleaded in a breathless voice almost making Santana loose her control right then. Pulling Rachel's shirt over her head Santana kissed Rachel passionetly. Pushing Santana down to the bed Rachel took Santana's shirt off throwing it across the room. Digging her hands into Rachel's long chestnut hair Santana moaned as Rachel's tongue took a trail down between Santana's breast. Kissing every expansion of tanned skin she could find Rachel felt her body's temperature rising by the moment. Pulling at Santana's pants Rachel tried to unsnap the button but was quickly getting frustrated. Santana giggled a little before helping Rachel get her pants off. Rachel smiled triumphently and went back to straddling Santana's lap. With Rachel's skirt bunched up around her hips Santana could see Rachel's virginal white lace panties.

Rolling them back over Santana pressed Rachel back into the bed. As she shifted them Santana's core pressed against Rachel's causing Rachel to throw her head back while letting out a grunt of pleasure. Smirking Santana shifted again thrusting her hips against Rachel's.

"S-Santana." Rachel gasped feeling a tightening in her stomach. Gripping Santana's shoulder hard Rachel gasped as Santana continued to rock her hips against Rachel's gaining speed and force. Rachel's back arched as she saw stars behind her closed eyes and Rachel experienced a feeling she had never felt before. Smiling Santana rolled off of Rachel and laid back on the bed.

"T-that was amazing." Rachel said once her breathing got back to normal.

"That's nothing just wait till you are ready for the big games." Santana said and Rachel turned to her with excitement clear in her eyes. Laughing lightly Santana smiled as Rachel snuggled up next to Santana. Closing her eyes Santana was almost asleep when she heard it.

"Santana I think I'm in love with you." Rachel whispered causing Santana's eyes to snap open. Looking down at Rachel who was already fast asleep Santana felt her pulse quicken and a lump grow in her throat. Holding Rachel close Santana pulled the covers over them slowly.


	8. She Keeps Me Warm

A/N I don't own the song it is Mary Lambert's and it's titled She Keeps Me Warm. Just for legal reasons you know.

Santana sat at the kitchen table with coffee in hand while Rachel cooked vegan pancakes.

"Alright Berry I've heard Finn's secret Schue beat you to telling me his so what's next?" Santana asked and Rachel sighed.

"You won't like the next secret I have but before I tell you it I have to speak to someone about this." She said and Santana nodded.

"Alright well were are you going to go?" Santana asked and Rachel turned to her.

"Quinn."

"Rachel I don't think that's a good idea Quinn's having a damn bitch attack cause I'm in to you." Santana said and Rachel nodded.

"I know that and I know why too." Rachel said and Santana looked up.

"What?"

"All I can say right now Santana is that she loves you very much so." Rachel said and Santana was silent for a few moments.

"Well that sucks because I love you."

"W-what?"

"Yeah I said it Berry and you said it last night don't think I didn't hear it."

"Shush Santana I know what you said just say it again." Rachel said and Santana smiled.

"I Santana Lopez am in love with one Rachel Berry." She said and Rachel smiled happily. Kissing Santana quickly Rachel almost knocked Santana out of her seat but luckily Santana held them up right.

"Come on I'll drive you over to Quinn's." Santana said and stood up walking Rachel out to the car.

They drove down to Quinn's home and Rachel sighed.

"I'll go in first and then I will come and get you." Rachel said and exited the car. Walking up to Quinn's door Rachel knocked. When Quinn answered the door she was obviously shocked to see Rachel.

"Quinn you have to tell her now or I will." Rachel said and Quinn looked out to see Santana.

"Rachel if I told her the truth she'd hate me." Quinn said and Rachel shook her head.

"Of course she will be mad Quinn but you have to tell her and you know it." Rachel said and Quinn shook her head.

"I don't have to tell her anything and if you do I'll make every day for you an awful time. I've already got Dave up my sleeve I'll get others and you will give me no choice but to take Santana away from you Rachel." Quinn said with tears streak down her cheeks.

"Quinn," Rachel pleaded but Quinn stayed by the door.

"Fine." Rachel told her and walked down the walkway toward the car. Santana got out of the car as Quinn ran after Rachel.

"Santana Quinn was the one who broke you and Brittney up." Rachel said and Santana's heart skipped a beat.

"What?" Santana asked looking at Quinn. She was sobbing into her hands.

"Yes Quinn is in love with you and it got to the point that when she learned that she was pregnant again she knew that she would loose you to Brittney as her friend. What she didn't know was that you and Brittney were already going steady. She took Brittney to the clinic with her to get her abortion because she couldn't handle being a teen mother again. When they were alone Quinn told Brittney that she felt so guilty about getting pregnant because she knew you would be devistated because you were in love with her which of course wasn't true but Brittney believed it and that's why she went to Artie. She was the one who ruined your love life."

"Quinn, you killed an innocent baby? Then you tell my ex girlfriend that I was in love with you?" Santana demanded after some silence passed.

"I wanted you for myself Santana don't you understand we are perfect for each other. I've been waisting my time waiting for you then I found you with Brittney I knew you two were really in love so I started sleeping with Puck again to make you jealous like last time. But it didn't work and I got pregnant again and I couldn't deal with it Santana. I did this for you! I did this all for you!" Quinn screamed falling and clutching Santana while sobbing.

"Quinn you did everything you thought was right the wrong way. I-I can't forgive you for what you've done to me. But I hope that some how you find you're strenght through this. You should know why I hate this why I'm sickened by this but your choices are your own as are mine. And now my choice is to pray for you and go on in my life with Rachel by my side." Santana said standing Quinn up slowly.

"But more than anything I have to thank you Quinn if not for this whole mess I'd have never found Rachel and Rachel would have never found me." Santana said and turned to Rachel.

"What makes her so special? What does she have that I don't?" Quinn sobbed.

"She has humanity and morality and she has a heart Quinn one that even when people do awful horrible things to her she forgives them. She has my heart Quinn." Santana said gripping Rachel's hand. Turning toward the car Santana and Rachel got in before driving down the road. It was silent until Santana pulled off the side of the road crying into her hands.

"How does everything get so messed up?" Santana asked and Rachel reached over hugging her tightly.

"I'm here for you Santana I will always be here for you." Rachel said smoothing her hair down. Santana gripped her tightly and cried into Rachel's shoulder.

Santana stood by her locker as she got her books out of it when Brittney came up.

"Quinn told me about everything Santana." Brittney said and Santana nodded.

"I'm glad she did." Santana said and Brittney sighed.

"Should this change anything?" Brittney asked and Santana turned to her.

"Brittney you believed a lie without even telling me you heard one, you left me for Artie and I was pissed at first but he makes you happy and if he makes you happy then I'm happy. Plus I'm happy now."

"Do you have someone new?" Brittney asked and Santana sighed.

"You'll see in glee." She told her before placing a hand on Brittney's shoulder. Turning around Santana left Brittney standing there.

By the time Glee rolled around Rachel was inside sitting next to a blonde girl Santana remembered as Jade. Santana smirked at Schue.

"Bringing your love child to school I see." Santana said sitting next to Rachel. Schue smiled and laughed.

"Very funny Santana. Are you ready to preform?" He asked and Jade turned to her.

"You are preforming to day?" Jade asked and Santana nodded.

"Got something special planned."

"I'm glad I came then." She said and sat back. As everyone entered the room they all shook Jade's hand and Santana smiled seeing everyone was actually truthfully happy today. Finn and Quinn after breaking up and saying their true feeling sat as friends. Santana turned to Rachel and she smiled.

"You ready babe?" Santana asked and Rachel nodded.

"Yes I am." She said and Mr. Schue stood up.

"Alright everyone Santana and Rachel want to open up with a song today." He said and gave them the floor. Rachel sat at the piano as Santana sat next to her on the bench. Rachel started to play the music and Santana brushed a strand of Rachel's hair back.  
"She says I smell like safety and home

I named both of her eyes "Forever" and "Please don't go"

I could be a morning sunrise all the time, all the time yeah

This could be good, this could be good." Santana sang as Rachel smiled at her continuing to play the piano.

"And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm." They sang together as Rachel quickly moved over. Santana continued playing the piano where Rachel had left off.

"What's your middle name?

Do you hate your job?

Do you fall in love too easily?

What's your favorite word?

You like kissing girls?

Can I call you baby?

Yeah, yeah." Rachel sang laying her head on Santana's shoulder.

"She says that people stare 'cuz we look so good together

Yeah, yeah, yeah." They sang together smiling.

"And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

And I can't change, even if I tried

Even if I wanted to

My love, my love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm." They sang as they both started to play the piano together in different octives creating a great harmony.

"I'm not crying on Sundays, I'm not crying on Sundays

Love is patient, love is kind

My love, my love, my love, my love

She keeps me warm, she keeps me warm." They sang fading out as Rachel leaned her forhead against Santana's ending the song. Their fingers intertwined and everyone clapped happily.

"I love you." Santana whispered to Rachel who blushed.

"I love you." Rachel told her kissing her cheek.


	9. After It All

And that's how it ended, at least Glee anyway. After everyone knew everyone's secrets at graduations they all drifted away. No one had a security blanket except Rachel and Santana that is, through the mess they were each others security blankets. So they decided that on graduation day they had nothing left in Lima and headed toward New York. They settled up in a nice flat together. It wasn't always a picnic, they butted heads some times but they never went to bed mad.

Rachel had secured a job at a night club singing jazz and was being scouted out by many talent scouts for her voice. She had a solid addition to Spring Awakenings coming up. Santana had gotten a job at a production company making a lot of money. They were happy together and very much in love.

Rachel was sitting in the kitchen waiting for her apple pie to bake when Santana came into the apartment with the mail.

"What's that?" Rachel asked looking at the nice pink and blue envelop Santana held in her hand.

"It's a wedding invitation." She said as she opened the envelop and smiled lightly.

"Who's wedding?" Rachel asked walking over to Santana to read over her shoulder.

"Mr. Schue and Jade I guess. I haven't even thought about Lima in so long." Santana said and Rachel really hadn't either.

"Where are they having it?" Rachel asked and Santana read the invitation.

"At the Hilton, here in New York." She said supprisingly and Rachel sat down at the table again.

"Let's go I think it would be great to see everyone again and you know they will all be there. Mr. Schue was like our father in a way." She said and Santana nodded.

"That would be nice. I guess we can go looking for dresses tomorrow afternoon." Santana said and kissed Rachel's head.

"I'll pull out the pie if you RSVP." Santana said and walked over to the oven. Rachel smiled and wrote down that they would be attending the wedding together. Pulling out the pie from the oven Santana set it on the rack to cool.

"Well we have about 30 minutes for the pie to rest what should we do?" Rachel asked and Santana smirked.

"I think I have an idea." She said and kissed Rachel passionetly. Smiling Rachel kissed back wrapping her arms around Santana's neck.

Santana pulled at the fabric of the dress nervously as Rachel finished getting dressed in the bathroom. She didn't want to wear something too fancy so Santana settled on a dark red dress that was flowy in the skirt and silver heels. Her hair was up in a wavy pony tail. Finally Rachel walked out of the bathroom in a gold pencil sleeveless dress. Her hair was down with her new bangs that drove Santana crazy. Kissing her happily Santana took Rachel's hands and they went down to hail a taxi.

Arriving at the wedding Santana smiled as Puck was standing by the front finishing his ciggerett. Walking over he gave a quick hug to Rachel and Santana smiling brightly. He had lost his mohawlk and stuck wth his shaved head.

"Hey girls how have you been." He said and Rachel smiled talking about all the wonderful things that has happened in their lives.

"And you Noah how have you been?"

"I've been great I just got custudy of Beth back and we are living pretty well with my new job as a teacher. I know who knew I'd be a great math teacher." He said and Rachel laughed with Santana.

"You guys don't even greet your old friend?" Finn asked as he walked up with Blaine.

"Finn how are you? It's been so long." Santana said as he gave the girls a hug and shook Puck's hand.

"I've been great now that gay marrige passed in Ohio. You all better be there when me and Blaine tye the knot in January." Finn said and they all smiled.

"Of course we will." Rachel said and Blaine looked around at the hotel.

"This is an amazing hotel. Then again everything is fabulous in New York." He said elbowing Rachel who nodded feverishly.

"Oh yes it is me and Santana just love it here. But I didn't know this Hilton held weddings." She said and Puck nodded.

"Neither did Schue till I told him about this place. Apparently Jade was on speaker phone cause she freaked out and called all her friends. So guess he really didn't have a choice then." Puck said and every one laughed.

"You and Will are still talking?" Santana asked and Puck nodded.

"He really helped me get into my teaching job. He still works at McKinley you know, Glee instructor and all Jade helps out a lot."

"And what does she do now?" Rachel asked as they all started to take their seats.

"She's was on brodway for a short period of time then she deicided she was going to do something that was more her speed so now she works with some special kids teaching them music and acting." Blaine said and smiled.

"Me and her discuss when we go to lunch. Her work is close to mine." Blaine explained and everyone nodded.

"Is there any room down there?" Quinn asked and everyone turned to her.

"Oh wow Quinn you look beautiful." Rachel said as they all stood to greet her. Quinn's hair was in a short bob and she looked very beautiful. They all hugged her as she worked down to her seat and they started chattering. Finally everyone started to quiet down as the wedding started. Will stood at the front of the alter in a black tuxedo and Rachel was practicly bouncing with excitement because she loves weddings. After a few minutes Jade made her way down the aisle in a lovely princess dress with a big poofy skirt. As the ceremony continued Rachel was tearing up and Santana smiled wrapping her arm around Rachel's shoulders. Schue and Jade said I Do and kissed while everyone clapped for them.

Everyone made their way to the reception and Schue walked over to their table to greet them. Hugging them all Will smiled.

"How does it feel you are finally married." Santana said and Mr. Schue smiled.

"Very nice. How has everyone been?" He asked as everyone started chatting about their lives. Jade joined them after a while. Soon it was time for the cake to be cut and Santana laughed as Schue fed Jade the cake peice when she shoved hers in his face.

"I knew I liked her." Santana whispered over to Rachel.

After the reception was ending and everyone was out on the dance floor Santana snuck out of the room with Rachel. They sat down outside with their drinks by the pool. With their feet dipped in Rachel turned to Santana.

"Do you think we should tell them the suprise?" Rachel asked and Santana shrugged.

"Everyone will be here for a week. So we can wait till lunch tomorrow. How are you feeling by the way? I know you didn't like having to say no to the champaign." Santana asked and Rachel smiled.

"What's best for the baby is all that matters." Rachel said and Santana put her hand on Rachel's stomach.

"I'm glad it worked this time. I don't think I could wait for another doner." Santana said and Rachel shrugged.

"A miracle is worth the wait." Rachel said and Santana kissed her quickly.

"I love you Rach."

"I love you Santana."

THE END


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